The knight of the lions
Was killed tonight
On a beach in Spain
In the bleak sunlight
He screamed in pain
Before he died
Then he took his things
And went back inside
The knight of the lions
Was born again
In a book I read
On a beach in Spain
He screamed in pain
From the top of the page
Then he hid his face
And ran away
Ain't that just like me?
A plant watered
With alcohol
Will turn into
An animal
A pet fed on
Propanolol
Could only be
Unloveable
And ain't that just like me?
Holy fucking shit I've been alive for twenty years
I'm old enough to know better by now
Failure speaks in clicks and beeps and sleeps between my shoulders
And surfaces whenever I allow
When I was just a little girl
I opened up and ate the world
It left me sick with sour taste
That spread across my cherub face
Sealed up my lips and asshole
Left to live a fleshy capsule
With nothing but a pen with which
I write the book of failure
Back then you would've found me in an awkward adolescence
Standing at the bus stop with a twinkle in my eye
Flipped off from a passing car and shoved into the screaming dark
A personal attack upon that instance of my life
The feeling coming over me was something I had felt when I was younger when I realised that my safety wouldn't last
A mix of sadness, guilt, and pain
Internalising everything
I fantasised a house fire where only I survived
Now I know I'm nothing but an empty fucking shell
Two legs, an ass, a head with nothing in
Once upon a time there was a spine to hold me up
Now I'm just a fuck without an inkling of self love
A parody of human nature
I know by heart the book of failure
Been over it ten thousand times
I've memorised it line by line
Every single word therein and every single little thing that got me where I am today
I owe it all to failure
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